JOHNNIE GIRL

In traffic long line, flaggers holding the slow sign, they're making their time and a half overtime, tomorrow is fourth of July.  I'm going nowhere, still deciding what I want my day to be like.  Not much to do but listen to the conversations in my head so I begin to write.

My name is Johnnie, but I'm a female and often when someone calls and they hear a female voice, they say May I speak to Johnnie, and I say this is she.  You know how it goes. Or they may say first meeting, things like all the colloquialisms, "Your dad must have wanted a boy",  or "Did  you say Jackie, or Joni or Joan"; NO.  My name is Johnnie and yes I'm a girl. 

All the assumptions people make when what is said doesn't fit, doesn't register, assumptions, notions, what should and shouldn't be, MY, MY, MY.

Where is this coming from, it's coming from what it is leading to.  I'm working my way back to the middle, back to balance without judgments and assumptions of what should or should not be, only What Is!  Guess what I'm okay with that, with being, with what is, with a name like Johnnie.

It suits me and it works, I am Johnnie and over the years I've defined the name, the persona of a woman named JOHN.  A dichotomy an oxymoron, the reality.  Life is pretty much like this and soo.......

Nothing in our lives is random, nothing is out of sync, out of place, unusual or unworthy of us.  It is what it is!

My first post, upon my return following a long hiatus, living at the opposite end of the food chain, you know Maslow's law and getting another life perspective that again is rapidly changing.  I'm excited about the change because it means transformation (no transformation without change), everyone wants to Transform but no one wants to Change but it requires a consciousness adjustment, believe me I've had one.  Definitely a humbling experience, the kind that changes you forever, brings you to life, real life.  Getting rid of all the dross and dead stuff the layers on the surface, that kind of change creating a New You, no name change but a spiritual elevation.

Going through the valley and trudging up the hill, cause sometimes you have to trudge, cause that's the only way you're going to get there.   A consciousness flip, one that doesn't assume, doesn't depend on, doesn't forget to be gracious or grateful, one that goes with it, the flow that is, that kind of change. 

One that considered being someone other than Johnnie, but Johnnie is my assignment and so that is who I'll be.  Johnnie Girl.   Ciao for now, see you around.